"A new is baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."
- Edna J LaShan
I intentionally decided to step back from the Passionate Voice over the past month and take a break from my own personal #Blog452 goal for 2017 since experiencing the greatest life gift a month ago.
Only a few short hours after sharing my last blog post, on May 27, 2017, one month ago today, we were blessed by welcoming Blake Andrew Arklie into the world.
Taking the time to step back from blogging, use social media with more intention and purpose since then and relish in the arrival of our new baby has been a gift. Getting to know this new, tiny human being while at the same time, adjusting to the new roles of motherhood and parenthood, has been a gratifying and humbling
It has taken me several attempts to write this post as the words didn't seem to embody all I've been thinking and feeling. Every time I began to write this post, I was overcome with emotion, of course positive ones. To try and find words to accurately reflect how life changed a month ago is next to impossible.
And then I realized, after trying to start this post many a time, this post is a reflection of what I am learning (in a short time of course) about motherhood, "Its progress, not perfection."
You'll never find the perfect words to sum up something as magical as this so here it goes, my first blog post being wrote, while breastfeeding, balancing a baby and typing with one finger (I feel like I'm in grade 3 computer class all over again learning to type, but again, progress not perfection).
No book, manual or course can prepare you for what I am realizing is the single most unique experience that anyone can go through. Every person is different, every baby is different, therefore making every person's version of parenthood so unique.
It has been an incredible (and daunting) feeling, knowing I am now not only responsible for myself, but another human being.... and that the values and perspectives I share will ultimately help to shape who he becomes.
I am proud to have been raised into who I am by my parents and my upbringing; proud of the choices I've made and the paths I've pursued in my personal life, my career and my hobbies... but being Blake's mom is now the cherry on top.
Watching Andrew take on his new role of being a father has also been the most heart-bursting thing to watch. So many of the cliche things they say about parenthood ring so true now - you never truly feel a love like this until you watch your partner you love, love the baby you created together #HeartExplosion
Learning Blake's small, subtle cues of what his different cries are for and what he needs; watching him grow each day (seriously can't believe how much they change so quickly!); experiencing all of his 'firsts' with him; taking him out to do the most mundane tasks, only to be admired by men and women of all ages (people really do love babies!); and enjoying long walks with Blake in the stroller, Starbucks coffee in hand while the warm summer sun beats down, are just a few of the small day-to-day experiences I am continually in awe of and thankful for.
Of course there are late nights, long days, cries and poopy diapers - the detailed stuff the books don't (really) prepare you for, but I'm just thankful that my job and my upbringing on the dairy farm helped prepare me for late nights, early mornings and operating on only a few hours of sleep on any given day. As I keep joking to find the positive, you can sleep when your dead right?! #IWish #StillNeedSleep
Navigating this new phase of life and my new role as mom has been 'interesting' on some days but having the best husband and partner to share in this with makes this the greatest adventure we've embarked on together. If I thought it was liberating not knowing what was ahead as we prepared for Blake's impending arrival, not knowing what is in store each day with a newborn baby and learning something new each day as a new mom is even more liberating.
I've relinquished full control to a small tiny being and for the first time in my life, it feels amazing to not have expectations because as I shared on instagram last week, when you don't have expectations, you don't have disappointments. Another new lesson for this mom.
I was passionate about everything I did in life before Blake arrived (hence why this is called 'The Passionate Voice') but now I wake up, yes a little more tired, but with an added sense of purpose. If I wanted to do things before Blake, I only want to do them THAT much bigger and better now. The purpose, passion and perspective I have for life and seeing it through the eyes of our newborn, has added a whole new vigour to which I want to do this thing called 'life.'
If any time in life, I'm realizing this is the best time to let the dishes pile, the laundry heap and the dust collect, there will be enough time for all of that. For now, I'm trying to soak this all up.
I'm hoping to continue kicking butt with my 2017 goals and it looks like I can check off the biggest one of them all not only for 2017 but in life.. becoming a mom to a healthy baby! I do plan to share more and do more here on The Passionate Voice to make even more of a difference because if I wanted to leave the planet a better place before Blake, I only want that a million times more now.
Here's to our journey ahead as a family of 3.. its going to be one hell of a beautiful, bumpy ride :)