5 Pieces of Advice I’d Share with my 17 Year Old Self
In honour of the passing of hockey legend Guy Lafleur 🌸 today, I’m sharing a photo of my 18 year old self, pictured with him at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto, when I was the 2005 CNE Ambassador of the Fairs.
You know those moments in life, where you’re telling yourself to remember the moment vividly?
You feel something in that moment you know you’re going to remember forever. You mentally document how you feel, what you’re saying, the reactions of the people you’re with, small details of your surroundings.
I had one of those moments this week.
I had the chance to speak to a class of 17–18 year old high school students. I was asked to speak to these young women by a friend and fellow University of Guelph alumni who teaches the class (thanks for the invite, Sam #ForeverAGyrphon! 🖤💛❤️)
Sam had asked me to share with these young women, a bit about my unexpected career journey as a new grad to Communications Manager to working in politics and now as a business owner; the career advice I’d share with them, along with advice from my time as a student at University; and the advice I’d share with my high school self.
The questions these young women asked, as I shared honestly and candidly, about what it truly felt like as a woman in a rural high school (so tough!), moving through to University (so liberating!) and then into the workforce and now as a business owner, mama and all-around ‘women are the future’ promoter, it stopped me in my tracks, just how proud I was of the women I was speaking too.
These young women were asking questions I never would have thought of at 17 years old.
They were so candid and honest when I asked them what scared them at this stage of their lives. The questions they asked about life, experiences in University, how it felt as a ‘small town’ girl moving to the big city and questions about business ownership and jobs, I was truly astounded at how incredible these young women were.
(If anyone is questioning our future and the young talent we have to take over our world, seriously fear not. There is no doubt our young people are going to shape our world into something incredible 🔥)
In sharing the lessons I wish I could go back and tell my 17 year old self, I made a mental note that I wanted to share these with anyone else who cared to want to know.
Because knowing what I would tell myself, sitting in those same high school chairs that those young women were in, I would be so damn proud and happy with myself — that I navigated through the same things they’re scared about, to be where I am — even though it’s been messy and ugly at the best of times.
And at the same time, it has been fun, one heck of a ride, full of laughs, adventures and the most incredible people and experiences — and I unapologetically wouldn’t change one damn thing.
Here are the 5 pieces of advice I’d share with my 17-year old self, I hope they help you reflect on life as much as they did for me:
People are everything in life. Nurture the relationships you have, be open to meeting people with new ideas and ways of thinking. Don’t be as scared to make new friends and meet new people who will challenge you. Embrace and be thankful for all the people you’ll meet along the way, whether it’s for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
“It’s not what you want to be, it’s who you want to be.” This saying has stuck with me so deeply. We always were asked growing up, ‘What do you want to be?’.. as if growing up to BE that role professionally, would make you happy, personally. The question we need to ask our children is ‘Who do you want to be?.’ This would have helped me realize that everything I set out to do in life professionally, needs to complement the type of person I want to show up as (and be happy as!) every single day personally. Whether this is a generational thing, a ‘work-life’ balance thing, whatever it is, it is the right question to ask yourself.
Be open and receptive— to everything. Go with the flow and don’t be so rigid or hard on yourself or worry about the details that at the time, we think are a big deal (I understand that the beautiful part about life is only as the years pass by, we’re able to gain this perspective). But truly, be open to experiences, to new people, to new ways of thinking, to challenging yourself to be better, to growth, to be kind to people — to everything. The best things in my life have come unplanned, and unexpectedly. One of my favourite sayings that was always said by one of my besties, Colleen that will always stay with me is, “You can retake the class, you can’t retake the party.” 💗
You will reinvent yourself many times over. This is the beautifully messy part of life, especially as a woman. And while we can be scared of it, I wish I had been more accepting of the fact that I will get the chance to reinvent myself, if we allow ourselves too. How we move through our ‘teenage years’ and then ‘grow up’ during our post-secondary years. How we then transition into a ‘career professional’ and then if we choose to get married, we all of a sudden, are adjusting to the labels of being a ‘wife or partner.’ We then may choose to have kids and again, we’re adjusting to the label applied to us as ‘mother.’ And every time along these stages in life, we have to ask ourselves to adjust, to change, to find ourselves once again — and it can feel really damn hard and messy. It really is a gift though if we choose to see it that way. I would go back and challenge myself to ask, “Who are YOU” before molding myself to others and allowing society to apply any labels to me. Be confident in yourself. Be accepting of yourself. Be kind to yourself. And love yourself first and foremost.
Life will throw you lemons, it’s the beautifully messy truth of life. The hard truth that I wish someone had shared with me when growing up, was about the hard stuff we’ll be asked to deal with as we ‘grow up’ in life. We sell this idea to young people that if we keep working hard, we’ll eventually achieve this beautiful life that is all good and fun. But the beautiful reality of life, is that’s simply not true. Life is more about the hard stuff that will be thrown our way and it’s what we do with these lemons, that will determine what type of person we are. THAT is where we’ll realize the satisfaction of the good stuff in life. It is the hard stuff that will ultimately determine what makes the good stuff as beautiful of a gift in life as it really is.
